Canadians and the Olympics

So, I’m in Canada, and Canadians are strange. Not in the stereotypical ways. There is one channel covering the Olympics here and here are some of the things they do that strike me as very very odd
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-No objective coverage of the Games: Nope, its all Canadians all the time. They will show you the heats of an event, watch the Canadians finish 8th and not advance to the event finals, and then fail to show the event finals because they are busy showing more Canadians lose in preliminary heats of other events. Also, when they show results of events they will only list Canadian results, always failing to mention who won the event.

-Extreme competitive anxiety: Canada didn’t win a medal for the first 8 days, and all the coverage took on this anxious and vindictive tone towards the Government and their supposed lack of funding for Olympic sports. I mean, they gave low level protesters national airtime to whine about the lack of funding as the reason why Canada’s athletes were performing poorly. Ironically, this exact same process played out four years ago in Athens. Its always “our poor underfunded athletes doing their best”

-Exaggerated focus on “personal bests” and “Canadian national records”: I guess when your country sucks at most Olympic sports you have to find positive reinforcement wherever you can get it.

-Joyous complacency with silver and bronze: Not once in the endless interviews with the few Canadian medal winners has one come close to mentioning that they were disappointed their medal wasn’t gold. All of them, especially the announcers, seem overjoyed to lose to the Chinese as long as they get a bronze. Very much a lucky to be there mentality.

-Lack of commercial variation: There is a loop of about 10 commercials (NO JOKE) that runs during all Olympic coverage (basically all day). They must have sold all the airtime to the 5 companies and then the companies made two commercials each. The commercials have not changed the entire Olympics. I have now memorized all these commercials and made solemn promises to NEVER buy anything from any of these companies. The companies are McDonalds, Chevy, HBC bank, Bombadier Airlines (truly the creepiest commercials ever), and very corny Visa ads. Worst of all are the Chevy ads. Worst worst of all. Because at the same time they are running John “Cougar” Mellonncamp go America ads in the states they are running ads in Canada with the Maple leaf and “lets go canada” logo. Did you know Chevy is the official vehicle of the Canadian Olympic team? They’re just wrapping themselves in the flag of any nation that buys cars from them. It’s a strange mixture of marketing and political propaganda. They should rig their company cars with microphones and megaphones. They should have retinues of factory employees march in military parades. Their new motto should be “Chevy: trying to attract the lowest common denominator of all nations”

And Finally,

Extreme (hilarious) passive aggressive coverage of the U.S. and U.S. athletes:
I was talking to a distant uncle the other day, who was raised in the states but has lived his whole married life in Canada. And he said “the majority of Canadians express their nationalism through competition with the US.” This is so very true.
First off, when CBC condenses its coverage of a non-live event, it will only show the Canadians fail, then it will show the three medal winners. So as you watch it you can pretty much tell that every routine you see will either be a medal or a Canadian achieving some obscure personal best….UNLESS, and this is the one exception, a US athlete fails to achieve a medal. They will always show U.S. failures, especially if the athlete is a favorite. Then the commentators will gloat silently or in thinly veiled statements like “oh, that’s too bad” and “shocker there. She was hoping to do better”

Secondly, all the Canadian announcers are total homers for the American’s main rivals, especially China and Jamaica. They will always point out where China won against the US but never the other way around. But, never is this more apparent than in the Michael Phelps Vs. Usain Bolt debate for “hero of the games”. Yup, up here they actually think it’s a debate. Most announcers will list Usain Bolt, then the Russian Pole Vaulter/Actress, THEN Michael Phelps in a discussion of most heroic at the games. C'MON! Bolt could shatter 19.30 in the 200 and it still wouldn’t even be a close call. 8 gold medals. 7 world records. Their homerism against Phelps is just way beyond ridiculous. Their announcers were practically screaming with joy when it looked like Phelps would lose the 100m butterfly. As for the Jamaicans, you have to remember that Canadians get all excited about Jamaicans because their only Olympic sprint champion ever (Donovan Bailey) was born and raised (and trained) in Jamaica before becoming a Canadian. They’re like the sister–city pen pals that you would write letters to in 5th grade.
But I’ve ranted enough. I’m going to stop and see if I can watch some track and field finals…oh wait, they’re not showing that. Instead its another interview with the Canadian bronze medalist in women’s equestrian dressage.